why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
