Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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