all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
