she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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