Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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