There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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