this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
