So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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