3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
