when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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