My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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