Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
