Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
