There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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