its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I believe in your delicious
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
