so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
