No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
