Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
