some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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