I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
