I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
