I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
