mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
