All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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