sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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