last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
we're so committed to being not committed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
