Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
