So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
