My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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