Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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