You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
no, he came in my armpit
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
