I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
