I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
