Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
