I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
