remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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