At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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