you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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