How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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