Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
