You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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