so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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