I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
