3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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