I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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