cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
