You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Less talking, more tequila
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
