i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
ttyl tear gas
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
