Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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