SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
