Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
