plz talk dirty to me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
