My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
