i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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