Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have aggressive nipples.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
