her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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